Lifes a bitch, so learn to fuck it !

As the blood drips down my arms and onto the cold tiles, I think “wow, I hate my life so much” Some times I wish the world would just end, for everyone to die, no more complaining no more blood, no more depression, cause once it’s over it is for good, I don’t believe in that Heaven or Hell shit, it’s a load of fucking shit. When we die we die for good that’s it, that’s the end of everything.

People tell me all the time that killing my self wont help, but to be honest at the moment I think it will, my arms and legs are covered in cuts, I’d have over 100 cuts, I may only be 14, and yes I need some help but no one really wants to cause they all think I’m to fucked up, so please help me, I want to escape who I am, to be a new person with a life, I want to be cared about, loved I just want those things that normal people want.

A bit about my life, every since I was like really little I was bashed by my Father, he use to hit me over the littlest things, he thought it was funny to not feed me for days on end, my mum truly did care about me, well I think she did. I want the love I should of got when I was a child, but I don’t think that’ll every happen.

There is a lot of people in my life I care about and that I would die for, but at that same time I think they wouldn’t care that much if I killed my self, i get the urge to do that all the time, I’ve tried a few times but haven’t been successful, I’ve died for a few seconds but was revived, most people would say that, that would give me a new reason to life, but no it didn’t it made me hate my life more. 

There is this one girl I care about, but she fucked me over like pretty much everyone else does to me, I want her more then anything in my life, she is so amazing, perfect, beautiful, caring, happy, out going and just everything I look for in a girl, but she don’t feel the same way about me, well that’s what I think anyway.

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